Relaxation time - away from it all

What did one river said to another? “Long time no sea!” 

A mountain to another, “High there!” 

A piece of cloth to another, “See you sewn!” 

A wall poster to another, “Let’s stick around.” 

A buffalo to another, “Meat you someday.” 

A wall to another, “Meet you at the corner.”  

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What is common between: 

1. Dogs and trees  - they produce barks 

2. A gardener and swordsman  - they fence well. 

3. Shoes and men  - they have souls (soles). 

4. A car and a deer - they have horns 5. A lawyer and footman - they bring up your case. 

6. An author and a liar - they make stories. 

7. Fish and balance - they have scales. 

8. A typist and postman - they handle letters. 

9. Children and lamps - they brighten up your life. 

10. Knife and words - they can hurt. 

11. Batteries and kings - they have power. 

12. Judges and teachers - they give sentences. 

13. Nervous system and cars - when they break down you are in trouble. 

14. A ship and a football team - they have captains. 

15. A painter and thief - you can catch them red-handed.  

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Their languages 

Optician: Now, look here… 

Undertaker: Good grief…. 

Oil digger: Well, well… 

Teacher: You know something… 

Cobbler: My foot! 

Publisher: So long… 

Weather forecaster: Good morning… 

Ear specialist: Did you hear about… 

Tailor: Try this for size! 

Timekeeper: Just a minute… 

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Their jobs 

Chauffeur: drives you mad. 

Barber: trims your pride. 

Cook: boils with rage. 

Housekeeper: sweeps you off your feet. 

Fisherman: up to something fishy. 

Teacher: will teach you a lesson. 

Butler: puts you in your place. 

Milkman: milks away your money. 

Footballer: goes for kicks 

Well digger: has a boring job.

Okay then. Hope your mind is lightened. Your soul, enlightened! Or vice versa! Have a good day!