The Age Old Utterances

“Is that a tear in your shirt?”

“Where?”

“Under the arm”.

“Where? I can’t see any”.

“April fool!”

That was my wife playing the April Fool joke on me. Well, she likes to berate me all right.

Funny, my kids don’t like to play the April Fool joke on me and neither do I like to play it on them. No, I don’t think it is because of shyness on our part. It is just that they don’t like to see their father being deceived or lose his integrity and the same goes for me in relation to my kids. But they would love to play the April Fool joke on their mother, anytime! And laugh their heads off!

Funny isn’t it?

Back to my spouse playing that trick on me. I am a man with some ego. I should have torn the shirt at the arm and showed her indeed she was right all along and so I was no April fool. But then I would have become another sort of fool - a real fool. So I didn't. He! He! Better be the April fool.

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The present lousy times will one day become ‘those good old days’. Just as those miserable times when money was hard to come by, the same boring foods on the table, daily walking 2 kilometers to school, getting whacked by teachers for forgetting to bring certain stuff, riding your vehicles on the dusty and rough roads are now extolled as ‘those good old days’.

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Taking you for a ride

I am a patriotic and law abiding driver of the nation. I follow all the rules and regulations of the traffic laws of Malaysia. 

The sign boards on highways and byways are to be adhered to avoid accidents and for the convenience of traveling. I follow them faithfully. If it was a 110km/hr road I would push my old car to its limit so that it could reach the required 110km/hr speed. Yes, we must follow the instructions as best as we could. If it was a 60km/hr road, I was saved! Consider me a slow coach. That would be quite suitable for me.

One signboard that always gets my sympathy is the signboard with two blacked out figures on yellow background, holding hands, crossing the zebra crossing. These type of signboards are almost always found near busy areas in towns and schools. People do not seem to be, actually, following the signs. They are not holding hands as depicted in the pictures! If they were meant for the school children, they are not holding hands either. Come on people, follow the signs! Hold hands!

For the gents, just have a photo of that road sign of the black couples holding hands, ready. You may need it if some dame takes you to court, for forcibly grabbing her hand, when you wanted to cross the road! Ha ha!

Well done Najib!

Now it is clear why Najib, the Malaysian PM kept on postponing the election date, letting the people go on guessing. It has nothing to do with Malaysia or rather, the state of condition or the political situation.

It has all got to do with Philippines - the MILF Agreement. The signing of the deal on regional autonomy was signed on October 15 between the Philippines government and the representatives of Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF). It was brokered by Malaysia and rightly so the PM presented himself at the accord at the Malacanang Palace, together with the Philippines president Benigno S Aquino lll. Najib, being the great statesman he is, wanted to be at a position of strength, a Prime Minister of a nation. Dissolving the parliament for the election, resulting in the nation having a caretaker government would have hugely weakened his position and could have endangered the brokerage of the deal.

The accord resulted in a new autonomous region in Mindanao called Bangsamoro. Over 120,000 people had died in the 40-year conflict between the government forces and MILF. The MILF is actually a breakaway party from the initial MNLF (Moro National Liberation Front) which is still in existence, but still, it is indeed a great achievement for Malaysia to be able to bring out such a settlement.

Well done Malaysia! Well done Najib!

(Photo from google images)

Much ado about nothing

A ‘sincere’ advice for a genius.
If someone, whose favour you seem to need, rebukes you, just do not argue back. Just go along with her. Nod to everything she says. In your heart, of course, you will be admonishing her, for the stupid being she is. 

On her part, she might be thinking you are a brainless, dim-witted chap who agrees to everything she says. Of course, she is not going to know the genius you are!

                                 

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United Nations. 
Countries are in turmoil, with fighting and warfare within and from outside. The UN is just talking and condemning; nothing concrete to put an end to the countless of people being massacred and maimed. 

Sri Lankan people know what UN stands for; Useless Nations. Now the Syrians are learning about UN. Or, rather unlearning.

Patriotic flags - way to go!

Merdeka Day or Hari Kebangsaan, is just about two weeks away and there isn’t any excitement being shown by the nation’s people. No sign of patriotism. No flags on cars, lorries, buses and motorbikes. Only the vehicles used by the govern departments are seen having the flags attached, for the obvious reason; enforcement.  

Looking back, about two decades ago, there was enthusiasm in the air, in anticipation of the approaching Merdeka Day celebration. Flags of the nation, of all sizes, flew everywhere, not only on the government buildings and vehicles but also on non-governmental shops, factories, not to mention the individual vehicles of all types. People then seemed to be more proud and understanding of the nation.

What happened? Why? Najib is a great leader. But one man cannot bring back the patriotic feeling back again. God knows he is trying his best, with slogans and implementations of 1Malaysia this and 1Malaysia that, but the people surrounding him are not. In fact, some of them seem to be a liability (getting into all sorts of controversies and scandals) to his effort to bring Malaysia forward, to get that feeling of complete patriotism.  

Trailing off the serious and solemn note, “Wow! This morning I did see a car with a Malaysian flag flying, majestically, on its windscreen! We are saved! I hope this catches on with the other millions of vehicles on the Malaysian roads!”

In edgewise, and may be quite seriously, I’ve got an idea how to make vehicles in Malaysia rush to attach the flags on their windscreen. Let the petrol stations give a discount of a ringgit or two for every fifteen liters of petrol or diesel filled in by vehicles flying the Malaysian flags. That should start the ball rolling. Of course, the government should bear the bill. Otherwise, the petrol station owners’ patriotism will only be measured by the one or two ringgit per fifteen liters of petrol! Did I hear someone saying, “That’s a lot of money considering the thousands of liters pumped out daily. 

That’s a lot of patriotism! "Oh, okay, I get your point. I hope some others get it, too.

Promising the promises

Janji ditepati or Promises Fulfilled. What sort of a theme is that? Or is it a theme at all? No, it looks more like a statement. 

The ruling Malaysian government is saying that this is the ‘theme’ of this year’s Merdeka or Independence Day celebration. Some theme! I don’t think the ‘theme’ was a winning entry from the Malaysian citizens. It looks more like a grasping of an opportunity to put into people’s head, that the ruling Barisan Nasional (BN) or National Front Party, has fulfilled the promises that it had made in the last election, and will continue to do so, if it is chosen again in the election, just around the corner.

Well, watch out BN. This is having the looks of dirty politics. It may put people off, though, you may be telling the truth, as people, generally, get irritated by breast-beaters.

Do not read these! Banned!

Here is a piece of interesting information that I saw in the online media, Malaysian Insider, recently. The Malaysian Insider, and especially, the writer of the article, Ivan Yeo, rightly gets my gratitude for letting me go back to the past and coming back to the present!

No. it’s not about some nostalgia events or anything like that. Well, it’s just about reads; what the Malaysians should read and what they should not.  Ivan Hoe pointed out the site where one can get the list of the banned reading materials by the Home Ministry. Of course, Little Red Riding Hood and Alice in Wonderland or Sindbad the Sailor are not amongst list of banned reads or books of the Malaysian authorities (a wink from my eye).

From the year 1971 until now about 1517 books, pamphlets and magazines have been banned. Most of them touch on Islam and sex. Some on political ideologies and others on what the banners say.  It is impossible and demeaning of me to list them all out here. I did try but I gave up after putting in the latest 10 books that were written in English which you can see below. For the rest just go to the website kdn.gov.my and get the whole lot.

1.   Allah, Liberty And Love - Irshad Manji – 2012

2.   "WHERE DID I COME FROM?" -  Peter Mayle – 2012

3.   The March To Putrajaya-Malaysia's New Era Is At Hand -  Kim Quek – 2010

4.   1 FUNNY MALAYSIA -  Zunar – 2010

5.   The Jewel of Medina - Sherry Jones – 2009

6.   Qabil & Habil S. Aneesa - 2009

7.   Ibrahim a.s. And Sarah S. Aneesa – 2009

8.   The Trouble With Islam Today -  Irshad Manji – 2009

9.   The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam (And The Crusades) -  Robert Spencer – 2009

     10. ANTICHRIST ISLAM'S AWAITED MESSIAH Joel Richardson -2009

Prem Rawat - the 'peace'ful man

Prem Rawat , the famous orator on ‘global peace’  is indeed a great philosophical speaker. However, I noticed that in all his speeches he emphasizes that people can find peace and happiness only from their inner self and there are no other ways about it. Proof of this can be seen from an adaptation from his speech that I especially like and cannot seem to forget. It may not be exact, but I have tried to be as close as possible. (In one of his numerous speeches he was trying to explain what real peace is).

A person went to a man and asked, “Excuse me, sir. You look so happy. How is it so?

And the man replied, “I am happy because I am at peace because I have money in abundance, I have bungalows, I have servants, I have cars, I have….....” he carried on.

The person saw a monk nearby and asked him why he looked so happy. The monk answered, “I am at peace because I don’t have money, I don’t have bungalows, I don’t have……” and he carried on.

The audience laughed and clapped as though it was an indication of their agreement. I, too, could not help admiring his gift of words to execute his explanations.

Well, you, too, can judge his speeches for yourself. Just type his name in 'Youtube'.

Short Takes - The Malaysian woman driver

The car is running at a reckless speed on the road. It squeezes left and right, overtaking cars, as though, they are stationary objects. It doesn’t let any other car to overtake it, increasing its speed. It, finally, stops at an apartment in town. A woman gets out. Now, she is all soft and tender. Her face has this innocent and timid girl look. This is the Malaysian woman driver, before she sits in the driver’s seat!

                               
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The present government may be corrupt, or may even play dirty, when nearing election. But the opposition parties aren’t any better. There are continuous stream of infighting amongst them. There isn’t any assurance that they would stay united, and concentrate on working for the welfare of the populace.

Well, the ruling government has the blue Barisan Nasional (National Front) flag, with the dice symbol, as the main united party flag representation, and displays it everywhere. The opposition parties say they are united, under the name of Party Rakyat, but, until now, I don’t really know which is their united party flag. This shows how well they are organized! Well, it’s time to really do a deep thinking, as to whom to vote for.

                              
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Who says PAS is a racist party? No, it is not racial. It welcomes all the races - Chinese, Indians, etc - in its fold.

Only that they should be Muslims!